Terra Nova Rock-n-rova!

We just watched Terra Nova. It's like one part 1984, one part Lost, one part Land of the Lost, and one part Jurassic Park.

It's a dystopian future set in 2149. You can't hardly breathe the air and you're only allowed to have x amount of children. A tear in the time space continuum allows people to go back 85 million years. (I'm sure this will be explained in greater detail. It was touched on and it sort of quelled any how the fuck are they not going to fuck with their own future questions - at least for the time being.) It's governmental about who can go back - because if everyone went through the portal all at once it was be total chaos - like a Metallica or Who convert. There are dinosaurs, neo-neo hippies, electricity, and a certain amount of natural human treachery.

It's too early to tell if it's just going to be good, or great. I'm hoping great. We'll see...

Persons of Interest - Seriously?

Like EVERYONE else, I loved Lost. Sure, I understand if you missed it from the very first episode, you were essentially - lost. But it was brilliant. Great characters, great story lines, great mysteries. You go, JJ Abrams! Well done!

And then there's Fringe, which is also great. Each episode gets wrapped up at the end, BUT there's a bigger mystery that connects them all. I tip my hat to you, JJ. Huzzah! Heck, the White Tulip episode is one of the best of all TVdom.

(Although ironically, I just watched the season opener of Fringe and I found myself totally lost. Wait, where are we? What's going on? What's happening back then over there in the future?)

So it was with great anticipation that I found myself watching Persons of Interest - yet another Bad Robot production. It has the creepy leader of the Others from Lost (Michael Emerson), it has Jesus (Jim Caviezel), and it has the writer from Dark Knight (Jonathan Nolan). This thing is going to be off the CHAIN, yo!

Um, no.

Not only is it still connected to the chain, it's locked up in the back yard. I felt like I was watching one of my parent's cop shows - CSI, Law & Order, NCIS, Blue Bloods - take your pick.

When something just so totally sucks as much as this, I cannot go over the inanity of the plot with you. That's just bad AND dull. There is a 'twist', but it's the kind you find in the preface of the Junior Twist handbook. Oh, and concerning character development - within the first 7 minutes Jim Caviezel goes from homeless derelict loner on the train to super spy in a smart looking suit (and then fashion forward jeans and smart looking leather jacket) who cares about people. And apparently Michael Emerson has a limp. It's hard to tell.

WTF?!

Eye roll...

Yawn.

I don't see how Persons of Interest will hold a person's interest.

I'm disappointed, JJ. Very disappointed.

X-Factor.y

Last night I turned on the tv and X-factor was on. Just like that. Didn't look for it, didn't set it up for a recording. It was just there. So I started watching it. I watched for about 9 minutes.

It looked just like American Idol. Just like it. There was a guy who looked a lot like Randy Jackson, but was NOT Randy Jackson. There was a woman who looked a lot like Paula Abdul who actually was Paula Abdul. And there was a guy - albeit somewhat older - who looked a lot like Simon Cowell who actually was Simon Cowell.

And there was some other woman with an Irish accent. I have no idea who she is or who she would be in an AI scenario.

Oh, and it's Pepsi instead of Coke.

Anyway, there's no host, but they did spend a few montage minutes on how Simon and the guy who's supposed to be Randy - just can't find common ground. One says yes, the other says no. One says black, the other says white. You get it.

Tension. Conflict.

Ok, so some woman comes on and sings a Pussycat Doll song. I don't think she's good. Neither does the Randy Jackson guy. Simon likes her so she will go to the next round.

The music starts as they introduce Stacy Francis - a 42 year old single mom with a 3 year old and a 5 month old. Something like that. The music tells us we need to care about her and feel bad for her. Apparently she has a dream, she's struggling to make ends meet, blah blah blah.

She's almost in tears as she stands there introducing herself to the judges. Her friend watching the kids backstage IS crying.

"What song are you going to sing, Stacy?"

"Natural Woman, Aretha Franklin."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, sir."

"Ok. Best of luck, sweetheart."

Stacy then proceeds to rip the roof off the place. Rips it right off. I mean, the heavens open up and the Lord is looking down with his mouth hanging open. Whatever the X factor is, Stacy has it. You don't have to be a Hollywood record producer to know you can add another garage to your mansion. The ENTIRE audience is beside themselves. This is a Susan Boyle moment. Maybe not as grotesque, but it's gold. She gets a standing ovation and her cheeks are black with mascara.

All the judges say yes. No suspense here. Duh.

The music sweeps in AGAIN cuing us that we should feel triumphant and blessed. But as Stacy is walking back to wherever they store the contestants, she's pushing a stroller. I'm pretty sure it's an Orbits stroller. This is a $1000 stroller with some bells and not all whistles. I'm not sure how much Stacy is struggling. Nonetheless, she's got the pipes.

Anyway, as far as AI and XF - it's a Seattle's Best compared to a Starbucks. It tastes the same.

And it will also turn out an Xfactory of CDs, DVDs, downloads, and tours.

Dear Instapeeps

I love Instagram because I love my iPhone and my daughter - although not necessarily in that order.

I don't really use it as a Social Media channel. I'm just taking snaps of my kid. The ones I like, I curate/post to Tumblr.

So I'm posting this here to tell you that I'm not trying to hog the instafeed, nor I am trying to pander for likes or comments as I fire off shot after shot of my little girl. Don't get me wrong, I like the likes and comments, and just last night I discovered there were quite a few. So thank you.

But mostly I'm just geeking the filters and playing with the tilt shift.

;-)

Two things:

1) The new Instagram update is great.

2) Followgram Me, which is a place to view your Instagram photos, is pretty cool. I'm here.

2.5 Men - 1 Man + 1 Man = Sucks

When I heard Charlie Sheen 'lost his mind' and turned into a rock star warlock from Mars while essentially jumping out the window of Two and a Half Men, I thought, "Wow! That's crazy! Charlie is crazy! Why would he throw all that away and make such a spectacle of himself?! How crazy!"

I have one and half things to say about this upon reflection, and in light of the new show that just aired starring Ashton Kutcher.

1) Charlie Sheen is not crazy.

.5) What if this was all planned?

Let's start with the first point, in which I must confess I've never watched Two and a Half Men. I've seen a clip here or there while surfing - maybe consuming 4 minutes of its 8 seasons. I assessed that Charlie and Jon Cryer are brothers. Angus is the son of Jon. They live in Malilbu in Charlie's house. For some reason Charlie has money, he's able to bed lots of women, and admits to a loutish reputation. I have no idea if that's correct. I've never watched the show. It strikes me as lame and boorish.

But because of all the ballyhoo and buzz, I could not miss Charlie's antics, name calling, firing, resulting Torpedo tour, and Ashton Kutcher stepping up to fill his shoes. I'm a regular person with cable, internet, and the occasional tabloid magazine in line at the grocery.

Charlie Sheen is CRAZY!

Duh.

So I watched the 9th season premiere along with 28.7 million people - the most viewers in its history. Again, I don't know the premise of the show. But the new season opens with the funeral of Charlie. Women tell the things he left them - herpes, vaginal warts, etc. Someone wants money owed him for 'pharmaceuticals'.

THANK GOD the show uses a laugh track. The ONLY funny line I can recall was when the 'widow' explains Charlie died when he was hit by a train and "exploded like a balloon full of meat". That was funny.

But what a steaming stream of stinking shit Two and a Half Men is. It IS boorish and lame - even with this extraordinary opportunity to reinvent/reboot itself.

8 seasons?

Seriously?

No, seriously?

Sigh.

I don't need to tell about the rest of the show. Ashton will be a kindler/gentler Charlie. That's pretty much it.

So, to conclude my first point, 8 seasons of lame one liners and canned laughter mixed with LOTS of money and celeb status - no wonder Charlie Sheen wanted out. I get it.

Now let me address my half point:

Tv Star + (Appearance of) Crazy X Publicity = RATINGS.

Ok, that's not rocket surgery. Let's also all know that despite the brilliance of having a two part opener, the ratings are going to DIVE. But now let's jump ahead to the tenth or eleventh season when the show MUST come to an end. Charlie Sheen is back on earth and in Hollywood's good graces now that he's been paid what he's owed, and he's getting all the syndication money. Everyone loves everyone. Right? So why wouldn't they bring Charlie back from his closed casket 'death' and go for a ratings campaign AGAIN?

Money. In. The. Bank.

Hmmm, maybe that's more than half a point.

Nonetheless, I feel my math is correct. Feel free to add it up yourself.