Weeds

Dear Weeds,

You suck. Sorry, dude. But you like totally suck.

When we first started hanging out, you were like awesome, man. You were like funny and cool. You were clever and fun. You were like totally smart and witty. I like got a contact high. It was awesome.

And you were fast, dude. Like 28 minutes an episode or something. I was always bummed our time was so short.

Remember that song? Little boxes, little boxes... Remember? Man, I dug how there was always a different version.

And I dug how I had to figure out the suburban sameness stuff of the opening title sequence. That was cool, man. It was like Where's Waldo or something.

And dude, I totally dug that you were all about a mom drug dealer who lived in the suburbs. That was hilariously awesome! I like totally cared about her. And even Celia who was her frenemy. I cared about everyone. I liked them, man. I totally liked hanging with everyone.

But now everyone either sucks or they're a douche bag.

Dude, Nancy sucks douche bags.

What happened, man? What's that thing you do up front with Jenji's name? What IS that? It's embarrassing, man. Seriously. It's like you're texting it in.

You know where it went downhill? When the Botwins went traveling around the country. What was that? The 6th season? That was like the longest episode ever. The very last episode was good - the one at the airport. That was like old times, man. Clever, cool. But that 6th season was skunk, man.

And this last season was the same thing. Only it was worse. It was ditch, man. Just one long ass episode until the very end when Nancy gets shot - if that's what really happened.

I don't know, man. It feels like you're just collecting a check. It's lame. Not cool, dude.

You suck.