New Years Rocking Eve

Oh, did I forget to mention what P and I did New Years Eve?

We totes slept most of the day, didn't eat, and then went out around 9:45 to hit some clubs, enjoy some bottle service, etc. We did karaoke somewhere - can't even remember - except for P belting out 'Pour Some Sugar On Me' - which was totally worth the price of admission! BRILL! And we were getting hammered on something called Ball Droppers - these shots of who knows what with silver flakes in it - I don't even know.

It was a furnace in there so we went outside and P was all like, "I can't feel my nose!" It was actually pretty cold - who parties in a puffy coat?! LOL!

So we cheesed out and ended up at the Castle Nightclub because it was right there.

And AW SNAP - it was totally BANGING! CHAMPAGNE SUPERNOVA, Y'ALL!

It was a sea of people, a wild crush of humanity. We couldn't move. We were like one mass organism - no head or tail - bouncing and jumping to the music. It was soooo CRAY! And then all of a sudden it was midnight - BOOM! All these balloons and like a ton confetti dropped from the ceiling. Everybody was screaming and yelling! It was AMAZEBALLS! I swear I heard gunfire.

Anyway, I'm not even sure how we got home. Uber was no help at all and it seemed like we waiting for a cab for hours.

Oh, wait, it was a limo. Now I remember.

P lost one of her shoes, so she went right out in the middle of the street and waved down a long black Escalade. "STOP!" she yelled out, "I need to get home NOW!"

And guess who was in said Estretchcalade… Kanye and Kim. KIMYE! I know - it was SO weird. Because they were like, "Hello."

And we were like, "WHAT THE FUCK IS UP, Y'ALL!?!?"

And they were like, "Nothing. We're headed toward Oak Park if you'd like a ride."

So we got in and then we all sat quietly for twenty minutes until they dropped us off. Oh, as we got out Kanye asked me if I knew how much extra it was to mail a square envelope versus a regular one.

"It's just how much it weighs," I said.

"No," he said. "It's the shape, too. Square costs extra."

"I don't know then."

"That's cool. Have a happy new year."

"Thanks. You, too."

Kim leaned over and pointed toward P's feet.

"I like your shoe," she said.

But I don't think P even heard. She was pretty wasted.

Full Disclosure: P did not lose a shoe.
Fuller Disclosure: P did not get wasted.
Fullest Disclosure: It was actually 'Here I Go Again' with car hood choreography and everything.
Fullestest Disclosure: P was asleep by 9:45, and I stayed up to see the clock go from 11:59 to 12:00 because it seemed like bad luck not to.